I see these doing the rounds quite often, always get’s a chuckle.
| What we say | What we mean |
|---|---|
| ”Horrible hack” | Horrible hack that I didn’t write |
| ”Temporary workaraound” | Horrible hack that I wrote |
| ”It’s broken” | There are bugs in your code |
| ”It has a few issues” | There are bugs in my code |
| ”Obscure” | Someone else’s code doesn’t have comments |
| ”Self-documenting” | My code doesn’t have comments |
| ”That’s why it’s an awesome language” | It’s my favorite language and it’s really easy to do something in it |
| ”You’re thinking in the wrong mindset” | It’s my favourite language and it’s really hard to do something in it |
| ”I can read this Perl script” | I wrote this Perl script |
| ”I can’t read this Perl script” | I didn’t write this Perl script |
| ”Bad structure” | Someone else’s code is badly organised |
| ”Complex structure” | My code is badly organised |
| ”Bug” | The absence of a feature I like |
| ”Out of scope” | The absence of a feature I don’t like |
| ”Clean solution” | It works and I understand it |
| ”We need to rewrite it” | It works but I don’t understand it |
| ”emacs is better than vi” | It’s too peaceful here, let’s start a flame war |
| ”vi is better than emacs” | It’s too peaceful here, let’s start a flame war |
| ”IMHO” | You are wrong |
| ”Legacy code” | It works, but no one knows how |
| ”^X^Cquit^[ESC][ESC]^C” | I don’t know how to quit vi |
| ”Suboptimal implementation” | The worst code ever inflicted on humankind |
| ”That can’t be done” | It can be done, but it’s boring and I don’t want to do it |
| ”No problem, people do this all the time.” | It’s an easy fix. You might be the most idiotic person I’ve ever encountered |
| ”Put that bug in the backlog with low priority” | Let’s agree: nobody ever mention it again and ppl who do, will be shot |
| ”These test environments are too brittle” | Works on my machine. Have you tried re-starting yours? |
| ”Proof-of-Concept” | What I wrote |
| ”Perfect solution” | How Sales & Marketing are promoting it |